Oh, these weapons of mass destruction (June 23)
By Chuck Doud
The Madera Tribune
The other day, I leaped out of my car and nearly toppled over. No, I was not drunk. It was my camera bag and my briefcase. The two of them together weigh about 15 pounds or so, and swinging all that weight in one hand while bounding out of a car seat pits centrifugal force against poor balance. The next stop was going to be the pavement of the parking lot.
Fortunately, I lucked out. The car has this handle you can grab if you want to hold on to something with your left hand while driving. I grabbed it and steadied myself long enough to regain my equilibrium and composure. It also gave me a chance to look around and see if anyone was watching. I am very sensitive to having people watch me when I do things like tipping over, or stubbing my toe, or running into a door. But this time, nobody was looking.
I suppose it’s my own fault. I have let the camera bag and briefcase become too heavy individually, so much so that together they become a weapon of mass destruction — against me, or anybody I bump into with them.
I remind myself of a person you often see on an airplane who is carrying a bag that won’t fit in the overhead compartment. If you are sitting in an aisle seat and this person comes along, lifts his suitcase and tries to shove it into the compartment, the effort often will cause him to inadvertently sit on you. Or, he will bounce off the person across the aisle from you and whop you with his stomach on the recoil.
My briefcase is so full because I never take anything out of it. I just add stuff.
The reason my camera bag is so heavy is that I bought an industrial strength Pentax a year or so ago — and it weighs about as much as a refrigerator. If you see me lying on the sidewalk underneath a camera bag, be careful if you lift it off me. You might hurt yourself.
