Not all rules of thumb are true (July 14)
By Chuck Doud
The Madera Tribune
Most of us know some rules of thumb, little sayings or syllogisms that are supposed to help us get through our lives. There are books and Web sites about these rules of thumb, and they are fun to read.
But I have to argue with some of them.
This one, for example, gleaned from Rules of Thumb.org:
“It takes two minutes for the sun to drop out of sight once it touches the horizon.”
That may be true of some places on the planet, but I think the sun sets more slowly in Madera. Mrs. Doud and I went out to see the fireworks on July 4, and we got there just as the sun was on the horizon. The fireworks were supposed to start when the sun had set.
“How long before the fireworks?” Mrs. Doud asked.
“Two minutes,” I replied.
Well, we sat there, and sat there, and the sun just sort of scrunched itself down, not really setting. The whole thing took about 20 minutes, confirming Mrs. Doud’s opinion that most of the time I don’t know what I’m talking about. So much for that rule.
Here is another one:
“Keep your car keys by your bed. If a burglar breaks into your house, press the alarm button on the key fob.”
I put my car keys on my nightstand, and it worked. Nobody broke into the house. I didn’t even have to press the alarm button. However, when I went out the door and locked it on my way to work, I discovered I had left my keys — on the nightstand. I went back in the house, grabbed the keys, and being in a hurry, inadvertently pressed the alarm button, scaring the daylights out of the cat, which sleeps on the roof of the car.
So much for those rules of thumb.
Here’s one we might be able to trust, though:
“If someone says ‘go look in the sink,’ don’t.” (“Rules of Thumb,” Chapter 12.)
