North Koreans know how to march (May 28)
By Chuck Doud
The Madera Tribune
One of the things I noticed about North Korea, other than the fact that they’ve set off another nuclear bomb under ground, is that the soldiers have been specially trained in a new way of marching. In the old North Korean method of marching, the soldiers would kick their legs high, sort of like can-can girls, in a goose step. Now, however, they are no longer doing that. They have developed a routine which is a little like you see on “Dancing With the Stars” when they do the quick step, only they don’t hold on to one another while they do it.
The North Koreans have about 1.2 million people under arms, and it must take a lot of officers and noncoms a lot of time to teach that march routine to the soldiers.
I’m not so sure I could learn it. I know I couldn’t have learned the over-the-head goose step because it involves getting your leg a lot higher than mine will go. They still use the over-the-head goose step in North Korea, but they seem to reserve it for female soldiers with nice legs dressed in short skirts — sort of like armed Rockettes.
Kim Jong-il, the North Korean dictator, probably has private audiences with a few of his friends to watch demonstrations by these lady soldiers.
I would think if a soldier couldn’t master the new march step he might find himself in front of a firing squad. Capital punishment runs rampant in North Korea. You can get the death penalty for listening to the wrong radio station. Imagine what they’d do to you if you weren’t good marching material.
You can always tell a tyrant is in charge when they make their soldiers learn funny ways of marching, which must keep the soldiers’ minds off turning their guns on their glorious leader. Kim is no different.
Lord knows what he’ll do with a nuclear bomb, now that he has one.
