Mom would have given Obama the Dial (June 9)
By Chuck Doud
The Madera Tribune
Mom would not be pleased with President Obama. The president has been quoted as saying he is looking for somebody’s “ass” to kick because of the Gulf Oil spill.
I once told my little sister I was going to kick her ass, and Mom overheard. The next thing I knew, I was biting off a big chunk of Dial soap.
Certain words in our house could not be said. If Mom were around today, and she heard the language that is common in movies, in music and in television shows — oh! She would have thrown out the radio, the TV, the phonograph — and a lot of the books I read today. She was not to be trifled with.
Had she been able, she would have wagged her finger in President Obama’s face, then handed him a bar of Dial and said, “Eat this, you potty mouth.”
She did make some allowances, however. If one had to refer to the part of one’s body that one sits on, she would tolerate “seat.” Obama could have said “I’m looking for some seats to kick,” and gotten away with it. Or, he even could have said “patooties,” or “keisters”
President Reagan was known to say keister, and if Mom was anybody, she was a Reagan fan. She liked him when he was host of GE Theater, and she liked him when he was president.
It was while he was president that Reagan referred to “being up to our keisters” in something. And the word took off big time.
If Obama has said, “I’m looking for some keisters to kick,” and Mom had heard him, she would have said what a bright guy Obama was.
Obama is under pressure to behave as if he was somehow in charge of fixing the oil leak. But we all know he isn’t. He didn’t make it happen and there isn’t much he can do to make it stop besides getting his keister out of the way. That must be griping his patootie.
