Ardi’s modesty is at risk (June 24)
By Chuck Doud
The Madera Tribune
I don’t know about these scientists. Every time they find an old skeleton, especially one that looks like it could have been a humanoid, they get excited. Then, they spend 14 years studying it, and you soon have a story about it.
Such is the case with Ardi, who is featured in the July issue of National Geographic. She is now being discussed in the scientific community, pictures are being drawn of how she must have looked and her toes and thumbs are being discussed in detail.
Frankly, I think they should give the girl a break. Think about it. Would you like to have a bunch of scientists discuss your skeleton a few million years from now? Would you like to have them discuss your toes and thumbs?
He looks like he probably could walk upright,” these scientists of the future might say of my skeleton. “But maybe not. He has such small toes. Maybe he was swinging through the trees.”
They would draw a picture of me with no clothes on, and make me look in the picture like a large, furry monkey who could not afford pants, socks, shoes or shirt.
That is what they’ve done with Ardi. There she stands for all to see, and it is a good thing her mother can’t see these pictures. What if Ardi went to church every Sunday and wore demure dresses made of palm fronds? What if she had a nice leather jacket and wore high heels? And what if she actually was quite a bright girl, instead of having a brain the size of a small tomatillo?
Worst of all, the scientists are suggesting that she traded sex for food. I don’t know where they got that idea, except maybe they got drunk one night while discussing her. What if some scientist of the future looks at your skeleton and says you traded sex for food? How would you feel? Who is to say she wouldn’t want a mink coat as well?
