Our local Madera newspaper does a great job of covering the history of our little town. I enjoy reading the articles by Bill Coate, Leon Emo, Tami Jo Nix and even all the letters from the public. Occasionally, even the infamous Red Line has very worthwhile information.

But does anyone ever wonder how in the world our streets get their names? Madera is growing in leaps and new streets keep popping up and I can’t help but wonder who gets to decide these things. More than once I have found myself driving in circles in neighborhoods looking for a certain address only to find dead ends and branches from streets I know exist somewhere.

Is there some system? Who is Schnoor anyway? Does Pine Street have anything to do with the Sugar Pine Railroad or is it just a coincidence it runs next to the tracks? What is a Tozier? Were there early Maderans with the names Williams, Willis, Roberts or Jennings? It seems that all the new developments have numerous little streets with cul-de-sacs and streets that may have some theme to them.

I can see why there is an area with Merlot, Concord, Columbard, Chablis and various wine-related names. But why is there a Merlot Avenue east of Madera High School and then two miles west another Merlot Avenue?

Why is there a South Street that is actually north of Yosemite Avenue? Why do we have a Fresno Street in Madera? Who decided to combine streets with already existing names? If you look at a map, Road 26 becomes Country Club Drive and Road 14 transforms into Howard Road and Olive Avenue. How did Orchard Avenue suddenly become Accornaro for the brief little area with its own little park-like path?

Not only is it confusing to travel all the curves, jogs, and dead ends, we also have streets like Central Avenue or Central Place, Berry Drive and North Berry. Then there’s South Park Drive, Park Lane, North Park Drive and Park Street. (Not to be confused with Bark Avenue or the Dog Park.)

Where does the madness end? Certainly not along the river where you can find Riverview Drive and on the other side of town Riverside Drive. The area along the river will never make any sense. Some of us know about the Deadend Gang at one end of Riverview, but you don’t dare try to drive directly east down Riverview.

Through many twists, turns and jogs you may eventually end up at the other “dead end” area. Many years ago there was only one way to get to the cemetery.

The early stories of Madera mentioned street names often and it seemed to be somewhat easier back then with numbers and the alphabet. Numbers are endless and it seemed the alphabet was exhausted, but what happened at the end? Did the city planners think drivers would wonder WHY they were traveling Y Street? Or were they afraid they might doze along Z Street?

I did find one thing on the map that almost made sense. We have a Sunrise Street on the east side of Gateway and a Sunset Street on the west side. And the two do not meet and become Sun Street. I guess we will continue to expand at the seams and just follow the yellow brick road to wherever we are going. Eventually we’ll get there with a little help along the way.

Maybe we’ll see a Tin Man Alley, Scarecrow Lane or Dorothy Drive. I’m looking for help from our own Mr. Wizard to solve these street name mysteries. So, how about it, Leon? Can you pull the curtain back and shine any light on this matter? For now I’ll just click my mouse three times on Yahoo maps and hope there’s no place like Madera.

Kathy Row,
Madera

By Chuck Doud
The Madera Tribune

I’ve talked to some doctors, including my own, and I’m not finding much support for the health care changes being proposed in Congress. You would think that plans to provide more people with medical insurance would make the docs happy, because they would be more likely to be paid. But that isn’t the case.

The problem they see is that the proposal, if passed into law, will probably cost them money by making them have to do more paperwork for the government and the insurance companies. Physicians already are swamped with paperwork. The doctors know a certain amount of paperwork is necessary, but hate being forced to do it by insurers, both public and private.

They say the amount of paperwork in the doctors’ offices is more than equaled by paperwork in the insurance company offices, meaning that a good share of what goes into the medical funding stream has little to do with actual treatment of patients.

Also, they say, the “reform” does nothing to fix what is one of the biggest cost drivers — the cost of medical malpractice insurance and the practice of “defensive medicine.”

They believe medical malpractice insurance costs are made outrageously higher by a lack of controls over verdicts that juries deliver for medical mistakes. The docs point out that much of the money from these verdicts goes to lawyers instead of the injured parties. They believe caps of some kind should be legislated.

But the Obama plan has stayed away from malpractice award caps, primarily because plaintiffs’ lawyers have contributed heavily to Democrats.

Physicians say “defensive medicine” is practiced when unwarranted tests are ordered for a patient just to protect the doctor from malpractice exposure. That costs insurance companies and the people who pay their premiums plenty, and doctors resent it.

I read an article by a Dr. Paul L. Williams on how the Obamas are spending us into oblivion. The first lady, Michele Obama, requires more than 20 staffers to cater to her every whim and every request during this recession. There obviously is no recession in the White House.

Remember, the first lady does not get a salary, she makes no money, she has no official duties. I totaled up the salaries of all these attendants and we, the taxpayers, pay them $1.3 million.

Now scream.

That is about what I did when I read that article. Her chief of staff, Susan Sher, makes $172,200 per year. To do what? This is unprecedented.
The First Lady who had the next highest amount of staffers was Hillary Clinton and she had only three. Laura Bush had one. Mary Lincoln was ridiculed for buying china for the White House during the Civil War.

Remember about a year ago Michele said she didn’t even like this country. I bet she loves it now.

Frank Bradford,
Madera

How does your writer Leon keeps coming up with these stories?

Recently, we got a double dose of his talent. First (July 24) had me laughing until I cried. Then the next day his wonderful Meanderings about former dance halls in the area had me remembering better times.

Keep up the good work and great writing. My wife and I get the paper just to read about local stories and Emo’s writings.

Carl Jennings,
Madera

By Chuck Doud
The Madera Tribune

Former President Clinton did a good thing when he went to North Korea to talk the dictator Kim Jong Il into releasing American journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee, who had been arrested for straying into North Korea when they were doing a story for Al Gore’s cable TV Channel.

Now, some people are saying Clinton should hightail it to Iran to talk President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad into releasing American freelance journalist Shane Bauer and two of his friends who strayed into Iran while hiking and got arrested.

The first thing you probably want to ask is, “Don’t these people learn how to read maps in journalism school?” The answer is no. Just like they don’t teach handwriting in medical school, map reading is not on any journalism school curriculum that I am aware of. They are more interested in teaching you how to write paragraphs, a useful skill, but not one which will do you any good if you are lurking around the border of an unfriendly country that believes in long prison sentences for illegal aliens.

We haven’t heard much about what Clinton and Kim discussed when Clinton was in Pyongyang, but they can’t have been telling each other many jokes. In the photo of the two that was released by the North Korean news agency, they both bore these sour looks, as though they had heard they were soon to be joined by Mrs. Clinton.

I can sympathize to some extent with the lost journalists, as I often have trouble reading maps. Although I did benefit from some Army education in map reading (“If you don’t learn how to read this map, you may die”) I am far from the best at it. Even today, after many years, I am not always sure where I am, and I’m talking about in Madera County.

If I accidentally wander into Merced County, I hope they don’t arrest me. Clinton would never come and bail me out.

By Chuck Doud
The Madera Tribune

“Perfect is out, real is in.” So says the San Francisco Chronicle, talking about decor. Talk about being relieved. I no longer have to stay up nights worrying about how my office looks.

I have always wanted to have a perfect-looking office: Pristinely clean desk, a perfect piece of sculpture on a perfect table in one corner, file cabinets that don’t look like file cabinets in another corner and a masterpiece painting on the wall.

Well, now I don’t have to worry. My office is about as real as it gets. My desk, for example, is so cluttered, the people from the Environmental Protection Agency have been coming by to see whether it has become a hazardous waste area. If it does one, I will have to do an environmental impact report, and pay a big filing fee with it.

I try to keep at least a square foot of desktop showing at all times, just so the inspectors will know it is a desk under there and not just more paperwork and places where threatened and endangered species could be hiding.

I do have a masterpiece painting — of two women at work in our mailroom.

The floor underneath the desk in a perfect office would be clean and free of any clutter. Not so under my real desk, where boxes of files, stuffed briefcases, software containers and several of those big, metal popcorn cans everybody gives everyone else for Christmas have taken residence.

Well, you get the idea. It may be that the people who give out awards for great decor will come around and give me an award for my real office. If they do, I will put it with all the other awards, on the floor against the wall, where I have been keeping them until I get time to display them properly.

If we get that award, you are welcome to come over and look at it along with all the other awards, once we get them put up.

There are only two columns in the accounting system that illustrate the health of an economy: assets and liabilities.

Our society’s liabilities have exceeded our assets. The social burden we have acquired through our judicial and mental health system have us on the brink of disaster. These two systems coupled together have caused a turnstile that once started spinning is now out of control.

We cannot continue this way. We have to understand that we cannot rehabilitate everyone.

We just watched “Gran Torino.” This movie illustrates how good intentions have created a monster. Gangs have taken over and dictate our neighborhoods and our schools. In “Gran Torino,” one terminally ill man sacrifices himself to the gang so that they can legally be put behind bars.

The movie ends happy and upbeat; however, in real life, it doesn’t end. The gangs will be back and nothing will be for the better.

There has to be a way to change this. Some way to eliminate these bad seeds. I know I am not smart enough to do it, but I do know extreme force is the answer. How we go about it is the question. There must be a way.

Bill Hoffrage,
Madera

All comments are edited for length and content. Due to content or space limitations some comments may not be published. More than one comment from the same person during the same week will normally not be published. Please limit calls to two minutes or less.

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“The citizens of Madera are entitled to know what kind of punishment the taggers and their parents are getting,” said a woman. “My garage was tagged and I’m entitled to know what kind of punishment they will receive. If parents can’t afford to pay for the damage then they, the parents, should have to do community service.”

“When are they going to get the graffiti under control?” asked a lady. “Avenue 17, between 99 freeway and Road 26 is absolutely out of control. The homeowners need to start taking it in their control if the police and county don’t start doing something.”

A woman “just wanted to ask why Madera can’t clean up this town. This town is so dirty. People used to have pride in their homes. Why can’t somebody just clean up the trash. It’s horrible when people come to visit Madera and see all this trash. You don’t see it in other little towns.”

A man had a message “for those people who walk their dog on the River Trail on Riverview. They allow their dog to make a mess and not pick it up. If you walk your dog it is your responsibility to clean it up. There are a couple of ladies and a man who allow their dogs to run loose and they have no bags with them. Please be aware of others.”

A lady that “just got back from paying my assessments at Madera Irrigation District.” suggested, “Maybe they should post their lunch hours. They had employees sitting at a table and don’t want to help you. If they post the lunch hour that way customers don’t interrupt the employees’ lunch hour.”

Another woman voiced a similar complaint. “I just went into Madera Irrigation District to pay my bill and the women in there are so rude. They were having lunch and I apologized for interrupting their lunch and they were still rude.”

A man said he was “a longtime supporter of Madera Racetrack and attending races all over California.”

On “Saturday night at the MST Class at the (Madera) fairgrounds I saw the most flagrant example of poor sportsmanship in 40 years. The driver of the car that was receiving the trophy jumped out of his car, yelling and spewing obscenities. The trophy girls and officials had to stand and listen as this went on for 10 minutes.

“This behavior is not tolerated on other tracks, especially one that promotes a family-racing atmosphere. If this driver is not suspended or sanctioned in some way, the track has seen the last of me and my four family members.”

“I would like to know what is going on with these city buses,” said a woman. “The Dial-a-Ride drivers don’t know what they are doing and they are so lost. They are just going in circles, and half of them don’t know how to speak English. You can’t even tell them where you are going. And the MAX (Madera Area Express) buses are so full there’s not even enough room to sit down.”

A woman was “reading the ‘Daily Bread’ in the Tribune.” At the bottom of the article she quotes “Lincoln said, ‘nothing is politically right which is morally wrong.’ I think all Californians should vote against legalizing marijuana because I don’t think it is a very good thing to do. They should not be raising money on that or anything that is morally wrong. That goes for prostitution also.”

A woman was “reading The Madera Tribune, Wednesday, August 5,” and an article by Sandy Stewart about “Jackson and Neverland. What a wonderful article, and I thank her for it. I was thinking her thoughts and finally someone had the nerve to write it. I thank you for publishing it.”

Another woman commented on the Friday, Aug. 7, paper and the article “County preparing for flu pandemic.” “I was very disgusted when I was trying to have breakfast, reading about the mortuary getting ready for bodies. I don’t think anyone wants to read anything like that in the morning when they are getting ready for breakfast. I think (Chuck Doud) should have a little better common sense.”

She said there was too much negativism in the news and she was canceling her subscription.

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Thank you for your comments. Remember, the Red Line is open for your messages 24 hours a day by calling 674-4478, or by visiting madera tribuneredline.com.

By Chuck Doud
The Madera Tribune

One of the casualties of the state’s budget cutting has been funding for the California Land Conservation Act, sometimes called the Williamson Act, which gives local property tax breaks to farmers who agree to keep their lands in agriculture. These contracts are important to many farmers who would be paying higher property taxes due to development potential of their lands.

For counties to be able to afford these tax incentives, the state over the years has provided grants — often called subventions — meant to make up at least part of what the local government loses by providing the tax breaks.

The act has been in force since 1965, and has been in wide use throughout the state.

Eliminating the grant funding this year will cost Madera County some $1.3 million, perhaps more.

Funding from the state is not guaranteed, but the contracts remain in force, so county governments, including Madera’s, will have to scratch find the money.

The state Department of Conservation, which oversees the contracts and the grants, is confident the grants will become available again once the economy improves.

Madera County administrators anticipated last year that Williamson Act grant funding could dry up, and as a result the Board of Supervisors decided no new Williamson Act contracts would be made until funding was assured. There’s also a possibility that contracts now in force may not be renewed when they lapse unless funding is assured.

That’s a rational policy for the present, and the supervisors deserve credit for making it. But we would hope they don’t give up on the Williamson Act in the future.

As the supervisors themselves often say, agriculture is the engine that makes Madera County’s economy go.

And that engine needs all the fuel it can get.

By Chuck Doud
The Madera Tribune

Mrs. Doud called the Cash for Clunkers hot line the other day to see if she would be eligible for either the $3,500 or the $4,500, and they told her she would be eligible for neither.

“We don’t take husbands,” the lady on the other end of the line told her. “Just old cars.”

I can’t blame her for calling. She doesn’t get the mile-age out of me that she used to. These days, it takes two or three cups of coffee in the morning to get me moving, when I used to leap out of bed like a kangaroo. By lunch, I’m ready for a nap. When it’s time to turn in at night, I’m usually snoring before lights out.

I used to want to party all night. Now, my idea of a party is a glass of milk and a dietary cookie before I hit the sack.

This must be a great disappointment to Mrs. Doud. She watched “The Bachelorette” this season, and would point out all the energetic young swains who came to court the eager lady (who in my opinion looked no more interesting than a WalMart clerk). But then, who am I to say? I’m just an old clunker.

I understand the government is wary because the Cash for Clunkers program is so popular, and the Senate is suspicious of putting more money into anything that might actually work.

But, let’s see. It helps many citizens, who can now afford more efficient cars. It helps the car dealers and manufacturers without the government’s having to sink billions into ineffective bailouts. It helps the environment by cutting down on pollution.

In other words, it works. It might even help the people who repair the older cars, because the older models not traded in will become more valuable to those who can’t afford new ones.

So far, it’s the only bailout that’s had an immediate beneficial effect.

No money for old husbands is needed, however. There might be too many takers.